Oh sweet freedom, how I have missed your stench. It has been too long since we last groped one another in the seemingly endless tirade that has come to be my life.

Nah, I'm just yankin' yer chain. Life is good--miserable and hopeless, but good none the less. All that bullshit I was whining about at the start of the year was about my job with Challenge Unlimited. They were keeping me in a state of perpetual temp-ness mainly because of the fact that my Supervisor has a self-absorbed bitch. She hired me into the company without ever consulting her supervisor or HR. After they told her they wouldn't hire me on permanently, she then claimed that several other people should be fired just to make room for me. They all just LOVED me! That went on for about 7 months until I made the decision to stick up for myself and created a huge shitstorm in the process which ended with words, "Your services are no longer required."

The whole process made me feel so bipolar. One day I'd be ontop of the world because I was really into the creative work, the next I'd want to punch everyone that talked to me because I'm going to get fired over nothing.

As the bread winner for the household, getting fired sucked. Every job interview I've had since, I've come in second because of experience. They like my background, the fact that I have two separate college degrees, but someone else always has more experience. We're living on a shoestring budget, just barely squeaking by. The only upside is the amount of time I've gotten to spend with my daughter. Watching her grow up, being there for all the little events, it's been great. But then, everytime I look at her, I get this nagging apprehension that I'm not going to be able to provide for her. In some instances, it's already a reality. My parents are pitching in, helping us with out debts and will buy things like clothes and meals on occasion. Most of which can be attributed to grandparents being grandparents, but when they start providing more than I am, it becomes emasculating.

I know that in some sense, things have to turn around at some point. Eventually, I'll find work, even if it's not what I'd like to do or went $30,00 into debt for. Eventually, I'll be able to provide for my family and life will go back to normal. ...eventually. A life spent waiting is a life wasted.